The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
