I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
