Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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