I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
