The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
And the cops told us we were all naked.
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Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
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All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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