So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
