I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Randomize
