i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
