i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
