His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
