I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize