i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Randomize
