In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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