I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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