i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
