My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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