There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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