garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
