no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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