You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
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