Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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