you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
