If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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