so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
