:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
