On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
