I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
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Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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