too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
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