I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
