She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Randomize
