I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
