Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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