You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
