Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
