The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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