this just has baby written all over it
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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