Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
