girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
