I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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