tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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