It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
