He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
