I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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