I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
