I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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