so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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