Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
