i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
