saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
