You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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