I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
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