Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
