He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize