as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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