when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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