do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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