Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
