i just wanna soil my oats bro
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
