hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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