all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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