Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
it glows. i had to have it.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Randomize
