omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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